So this happened.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 07/16/2017 at 15:53 • Filed to: Personalopnik

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Some family asked to live with us. They make 6 figures, just sold their house, and haven’t found another one. They have an infant. We also all don’t get along too famously. I also own a 1 bedroom house with less than 900 square feet. So we said no.

They asked if they park a trailer in our lawn and live in it (they don’t own a trailer). We said no. They asked a third time, but in a terse, “I don’t see why we can’t,” way. Again, no. We are now accused of making them “homeless,” to our friends, on Facebook, etc. I mean just rent until you find a house for Christ’s sake. You sold your home for money and you have options.

And my wife and I are absolutely NOT in the wrong for not wanting you to move in with us. These are the kind of people that, when you tell them no, it is fucking scorched-Earth warfare.

The husband called me today to remind me how displeased he is with the situation (or in his words, “What’s your beef?”). Told him i wasn’t having this conversation.

My wife has ceased contact with them so I’m acting as the wall for the unit, which I’m happy to do because it’s easier for me to handle vs my wife right now (it’s also her side of the family, so the personal aspect makes it that much more difficult). That’s what partners do: they help each other when shit gets too unbearable. The problem is the people who have nothing to do with this are contacting us about the drama because it’s all out there in the open.

They are leaving no stone unturned, doing anything they can to get their digs in on us and send their messengers to convey their disapproval of our lack of doormattedness.

But at least their actions only further solidifies why we didn’t them to move in with us.

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 15:58

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Yeah, sounds like keeping them out was 100% the right call. Eff them.

djmt1 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 15:59

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It saddens me how underpowered the word no is.

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:00

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Jeez. Takes a lot of stones for these clowns to even ask you, IMHO. Let alone blow up over it. Don’t they have, ya know, OTHER “friends”?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > djmt1 07/16/2017 at 16:01

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It saddens me how offensive the word “no” is to people who just expect everyone else to accommodate them.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > WilliamsSW 07/16/2017 at 16:03

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Yeah our household has been a bit topsy turby lately in general. I even told them last month to stop harassing my wife for shit while she’s going through [blah blah blah]. To come back two weeks later and asking to move in is fucking insulting.

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:05

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Well, you know damn well you’re doing the right thing and stepping in to try to shield the wife. Good luck.

I imagine that their other “friends” have seen this shit from them before.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:06

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Wow. I’ve never heard of anything quite like that. What in God’s name makes people think they are entitled to bully someone else into letting them into their home?

PS9 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:07

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Six figure income and they had no plans at all about where to live after the house is sold? Really?? I’d say no just for that alone.

Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:08

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Based on circumstances alone, it was a good choice. Given the reaction, that just reinforces things even more so. This is something you have sorted before you sell your home.

Chuckles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:08

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This just raises so many questions. Why would someone sell their house if they didn’t already have a new living situation lined up? Especially if they have a kid! And why would they ever think that someone in a one bedroom house would take them and their infant in? It’s not like you live in a mansion with an unused guest house out back. What the hell was their plan when they decided to sell their house? If their plan was to mooch off of you, they probably should have discussed that with you BEFORE they made themselves homeless. You can’t cry about being homeless if the reason you’re homeless is because you sold your home.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > WilliamsSW 07/16/2017 at 16:08

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My wife was the one who stood up for the team. They asked her instead of me —because they know I’m not saying yes— but they were stunned to find my wife would tell them hell no. Pretty low to try to work over one half of the team.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Chuckles 07/16/2017 at 16:10

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YES EXACTLY! They’re unprepared and made this choice, not my problem.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:11

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Yikes. Sorry you have to deal with them embarrassing themselves like that. On the plus side maybe you’ll be able to get out of a few family get-togethers..?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 07/16/2017 at 16:11

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Because they’re takers, it’s been this way for ages.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:11

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You’re quite clearly in the right here.

Also, if they’re pissed at you, why are they still trying to stay at your place?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB 07/16/2017 at 16:13

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$$$$

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:13

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Got it — think I misread the part about you acting as the wall.

“They asked her instead of me —because they know I’m not saying yes— but they were stunned to find my wife would tell them hell no. Pretty low to try to work over one half of the team.”

Fuck these people.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > WilliamsSW 07/16/2017 at 16:14

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Im acting as the wall now, after my wife said no, because it was just too fucking much.

Ssfancyfresh > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:18

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Hi. I sold my car. Now I have no way to get to work. May I have one of yours? No? You’re a dick.

Makes no sense.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Ssfancyfresh 07/16/2017 at 16:18

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Perfect

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:20

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Who the fuck does that!?!?

ranwhenparked > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:20

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Um, they make six figures, are not unemployed or destitute, sold their house without any plan for habitation afterward, and want somebody with a small, 1-bedroom house to take them in for an indeterminate period of time? Hell no. I have a two bedroom, about your size, on a big lot and would run away from that.

They can afford an extended stay hotel if they want to, and that would provide more incentive to buy another damn house ASAP. Otherwise, they better start looking for a family member with at least 2,200 sq ft and a couple of extra bedrooms that they can guilt trip.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:22

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But they seem like such nice people.

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:23

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I’m sure they would leave you on the hook to provide a lot of free babysitting services if you caved, too.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:24

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Oh life was better when I lived in Japan, nobody asked me things! I have a totally random schedule so people don’t really expect much from me and I have a great excuse. I don’t get selling a house and not really having a plan, with a fucking baby?? AND they make a living? Rent an apartment or go to one of those extended stay hotels.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 07/16/2017 at 16:24

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Toxic people

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > WilliamsSW 07/16/2017 at 16:27

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You better believe it. My wife has watched their kid many times.

Nibbles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:29

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If they’re willing to buy a trailer then they can park it at the local KOA. How the hell...

I just, can’t.

Ask once and be done with it

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:33

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But you have four cars now...

ranwhenparked > Nibbles 07/16/2017 at 16:35

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Or even the local Walmart. They’re usually surprisingly OK with people just crashing in their parking lot like it was some shanty town/demo derby track combination.

notsomethingstructural > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:35

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Write a lease saying you’ll let them stay 45 days with an up-front term rent of $150,000, and you agree to waive collection if there’s no default and they leave on time.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:39

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No shit. Be done with them and anyone buying their bull shit

HammerheadFistpunch > ranwhenparked 07/16/2017 at 16:40

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Walmart has an official trailers okay policy...but they have time limits

cbell04 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:43

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Plot twist. What if they tried to win you over by showing you the camper they bought to stay in the yard?

But seriously hell to the no. I have the room and would still say no can do. You did the right thing in my opinion if that counts for anything.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:43

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This is insane on every level. So they sold their house for extra cash despite ample income without somewhere to go and want you to put them up? As someone who also lives in a modest 1 bed house, I can say it’d be pretty damn crowded with anyone other than me and the other half.

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:43

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SO many questions. Why did they sell their house, and who the hell sells their home without lining up a place to live beforehand? (I’d throw that “homeless” blame-pushing shit back in their face) Why is their lack of planning *your* problem? They have no other options other than to squat on your property and put you out? These people sound like insufferable assholes - stay the course my friend.

My bird IS the word > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:47

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Sorry, but how do you know these people? Dude sold his house without any plan whatsoever? wow. also, apparantly you must be his best friend for him to ask you.

Svend > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 16:53

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Look on the bright side. It’ll be less people to converse with in the long run.

Rico > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:00

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Tell them you’d gladly let them park their trailer on your lawn to the tune of $1,000+ a month.

HammerheadFistpunch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:01

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So let me preface that this is not that but I know that feel to a small degree and how frustrating it can be.

I have cousins that are “takers” like you mention. Life goes pretty smoothly for them on account of this “me first” principle. Nice people, my cousin and I were best friends for years but I didn’t realize how moochie they were until much later in life.

So we went up to a lake yesterday, we were only there for the day as we had to be back today. My cousin was in town and came up to her families place next door with their kids. She and her husband wanted to go out on a boat with their family but for whatever reason couldn’t/wouldn’t take their 3 year old. My wife said she’d keep an eye on her.

I should say it would be no effort at all to take a run and drop off one parent to the place again. no effort at all.

2 hours later, after everyone on their boat had gone twice and we’d fed their kid lunch (it was after 1 when they got back) and a sizable chunk of our one day devoted to babysitting and no playing with our own kids the parents return.

“oh you didn’t have to feed her”

“It was lunch time, she was hungry and you were gone.”

“Well thanks, we owe you.”

“how about a ride on the boat?”

“Just let us know what we can do, thanks!”

This is apparently a known thing too, no one else jumped up to help because it had all happened to them in the past. Now we know I guess. I wish it wasn’t the entire family too, but they are ALL moochie me first types. They borrow a lot but act really put out when you ask to return the favor.

Rico > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:01

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Why did they sell their home without plans in place to buy a new home? Are they on the run? For a family with an infant they are making some very poor decisions.

Rico > Chuckles 07/16/2017 at 17:03

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Exactly, their poor decision making put them in this situation.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HammerheadFistpunch 07/16/2017 at 17:06

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Painful to read, and same idea yeah.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Rico 07/16/2017 at 17:07

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There isn’t enough money on the planet to allow that.

HammerheadFistpunch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:07

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painful to read is the title of my book.

404 - User No Longer Available > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:10

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Nah, let them park the trailer there. Just ask Top Gear to film an episode near your place while they’re there.

wafflesnfalafel > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:10

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there is a wide selection of lovely apartments on the market... (goofballs..)

Birddog > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:17

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Wow. They were willing to buy a trailer and set it up in your yard?

My newish neighbor approached me with a fun request last week. “If I buy a car would you be willing to put it in your name?” He lost his license after his third DWI. So they’re not talking to me now. It didn’t seem to help that I could barely stop laughing long enough to say no.

DipodomysDeserti > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:26

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This is funny, because I just asked my brother if I could park my camper in his backyard in the event that I sell my house and move my family into one.

We’re a communal bunch with no moochers so he said it was cool. Plan B would be parking it in the desert somewhere and getting a gym membership for showers.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Birddog 07/16/2017 at 17:27

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That’s insane. I wouldn’t do that for my closest friend after a third DUI, let alone a newish neighbor. Wow.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 17:33

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Why would they sell their house before finding a new one?

Brian McKay > HammerheadFistpunch 07/16/2017 at 17:40

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Wow.

‘Life goes pretty smoothly for them on account of this “me first” principle”

HammerheadFistpunch > Brian McKay 07/16/2017 at 17:41

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Seems to be working out for them.

Ssfancyfresh > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 18:23

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Thanks fam.

shop-teacher > Birddog 07/16/2017 at 18:28

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Hahahaha! No loss there.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 18:40

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Nothing like shielding your wife from her own relatives.

XJDano > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 18:58

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Stay strong. Family can be the worst. Never again will I deal with others living situations.

Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 19:04

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The “I don’t see the problem” attitude is frequently championed by men who show up single to the swingers party complaining there aren’t enough women to go around. Fuck that. I’d raise scorched earth to a new level and call them failed freeloaders on Facebook and warn people to avoid them and recommend blocking their number.

I’m going to a wedding in New Jersey on Friday where I’ll see my whole family for the first time in 10+ years. Can you tell?

Birddog > shop-teacher 07/16/2017 at 19:20

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No joke. I’ve been cursed with bad neighbors the last few years.

shop-teacher > Birddog 07/16/2017 at 19:39

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Ugh! That’s the worst. I’ve been lucky since I moved to Villa Park. My one neighbor is a little batty, but she’s nice and harmless. My last neighbor in Mokena was a freaking nightmare. Totally ruined the place for me.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 19:53

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Sounds like someone has been listening to Me First and the Gimme Gimme’s and then taking the name to heart.

Hold the line and be strong, Doc. That way you’ll never hear from them again...eventually.

6691 zapS > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 20:13

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Hmm is the wife pretty?, can she have sex w/o talking a lot?

Can the Husband wear a wig?, squeal like a pig? Is his Mouth pretty?

I could, “Manage”, them. I’d only take 50% of their earnings.

(We won’t tell them I’m kicking back half of that to you..)

Just to do to them what they do to other people.

6691 zapS > 6691 zapS 07/16/2017 at 20:18

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This is just to get you to laugh btw,

Stay strong.

Here’s some Music.

Birddog > shop-teacher 07/16/2017 at 20:24

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Been there man. Last place I had “good” neighbors/friends was when I was in Lemont. I seriously miss those days.

You can pick your friends..

shop-teacher > Birddog 07/16/2017 at 21:10

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I’m terrified of the possibilities that lay out there, when the retired couple next door finally decides to sell their house and move full time into their vacation condo. Our driveways butt up against each other’s. Because we’re all cool, we freely slob into each other’s driveway when need be. It makes things so nice.

If future neighbors are dicks, I’ll put a fence in between the driveways. Mine will still be plenty wide, theirs will be an impossibly narrow nightmare.

Birddog > shop-teacher 07/16/2017 at 21:35

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Villa Park Eh? I always liked that town.

Kidding. You don’t want me as a neighbor.

shop-teacher > Birddog 07/16/2017 at 21:46

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Pft, I have a feeling we’d get along fine. My girls would never stop climbing all over your trikes though.

I do actually really like this town.

You wouldn’t want that house though. It’s weirdly added onto. Whoever framed the roofline of the one addition, deserves to be hit upside the head with a hammer. Tiny yard, small garage, and the “mason” they used for their last tuck pointing job made a real shit-show of the job too. Fun fact: it’s a two story balloon framed house. Funner fact: they’ve lived there over 40 years and never blew any insulation into those walls.

Tristan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 21:52

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I have a big, empty bedroom AND spacious RV parking. I’d still have said hell to the no.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/16/2017 at 22:10

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“They asked if they park a trailer in our lawn and live in it (they don’t own a trailer).”

That’s absolutely retarded. It would make more sense for them to live in one of those long-term-stay hotels that have kitchenettes.

The cost of a decent trailer would likely be more than the cost of staying in a hotel for a month or two.

And I recently dealt with a somewhat similar situation... a family member (not immediate family) was broke (due to not working and not even looking for a job) and 4 months behind on rent. Their plan? To ask me if they can sleep on my couch ‘for a while until they get back on their feet’.

Hell no.

However I did have this family member get reacquainted with their immediate family after years of no contact (why? I still don’t know) and had them move in with them. I helped with the move and stored some things for them... but that was it.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Birddog 07/16/2017 at 22:16

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“If I buy a car would you be willing to put it in your name?”

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/17/2017 at 01:33

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but would you let me sleep on your couch for month?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 07/17/2017 at 01:34

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Yes, but the couch will be in someone else’s home.

His Stigness > Rico 07/17/2017 at 01:34

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Either they didn’t plan things out well, or the house they were going to buy fell through.

My mom watches too much of Property Bothers...

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/17/2017 at 01:37

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In the Tercel? I’ll cook you (& wife) dinner.

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Birddog 07/17/2017 at 02:00

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Wow, I though it was bad when the neighbor across the street kept throwing gum on my concrete drive-way. He’s a complete dick, and his wife is a vindictive bitch. So much so that our friends who live next door to them, up and sold their house this week, after they had the dog warden called by these wonderful neighbors. Some people are just plain mean, and cannot be reasoned with.

TheHondaBro > Rico 07/17/2017 at 02:13

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Dude that’s a fucking bargain around here.

Hammerdown > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/17/2017 at 13:12

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Any chance of removing names from Facebook posts and letting us see them? I’m very curious as to how laughable they are.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/17/2017 at 23:46

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how are relatives taking it? I could understand maybe ..maybe if you had a 3 bedroom house, but that just seems nuts.

I’ve had run ins with a relative who used to living in the lap of luxury has found retirement really boring, due to this crazy thing of living within ones means. Although I’d see him for a few weeks a year, I’d never see him for more than a week at a time so the whole, “would you mind ...” shit never really sunk in.

RPM esq. > Rico 07/18/2017 at 00:43

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That’s probably below-market.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/20/2017 at 16:36

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You chose... wisely.